Quick some one run me to Walgreen's! It is urgent, I am in dire need of some major first aid. There has been an accident! Age and time have had a massive collision with my follicles!
"Chantel massage my head," I say to my sister-in-law. Little did I know that five minutes later I would be fighting back tears as she and my mother are heckling like hyenas that have smoke one to many joints. "IT'S GREY!!!" they giggle.
I kept saying "Yeah right, you guys are stupid. Stop making jokes." Then here comes that shiny reflective thing, that I, as most tired worn out mothers avoid as much as possible... A mirror. (who wants to be reminded every morning that the same ol' sweats are out of style, and you just don't have time to pluck those eye brows anymore). And there they where. Shiny patches of snow white hair glistening in the sun against the dark black back drop of my hair.
suddenly (and I'm not joking) visions of 401k, sun spots, wrinkles, hip replacements, retirement homes, and the dreaded forty year mammogram check up are running through my mind. Will my baby making parts even work anymore when I decide to get pregnant again. NO! I can't even say it. You ladies know what I'm talking about. ssshhhh, we will just call it the "M" word.
Go ahead, I don't care if you think I'm over exaggerating. So what if I throw my hands up in the air and stomp and yell. To my older readers who have already gone grey, there is nothing you can say to make it better. To my peers, and younger readers , and those who have not yet been cursed with these little grey strands. Leave me alone and let me pout in my ageing cave of oldness.
I'm only twenty four, but here I am getting flipping grey. My little brother, Aaron, said it best. "You are to old to hang out with us now." The saying is "you get grey hair because of your children". Can this really be true? I refuse to blame this on my sweet violet. No I blame global warming. The melting polar caps are making me grey at a young age. Well, it sounded good in my head.
"I will show you world!! *getting on knees with hands in the sky* I curse you father time!!! Only a man could do this to some one. I'm not washed up, or sold out! I will prove to you gods of aging, wrinkles, and sunspots. I will be the hippest, coolest, grey haired mommy in the world! That I will never be to achy to dance, that prunes will not yet be an every day necessity, and that I will battle this curse with hair dye and I will WIN!" aahhh....I feel better. Must not stress need a foot up on the battle field of grey v.s. young mommy.
now time for some hair quotes....
"Grey hair is a blessing-ask any balding man" Author unknown
"By common consent, grey hairs are a crown of glory; the only object of respect, that can never excite envy." George Bancroft
"How can I control my life if I can't control my hair?" Author unknown
"A hair in the head is worth two in the brush" Oliver Herford
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