Whats with this whole “Mortal Kombat” fiasco called “stay at home mom VS working mom” ? Here we go folks soccor mom in this corner and in this corner CEO business woman. Weapons include a briefcase, a mop, a printer, and a vacuum. If MTVs “Celebrity Death Match” (remember that show) didn't make an episode of this, they missed out on some blood money. WACK briefcase to the face! Mop to the back of the knees! Hair tangled in a dyson and ink in the eyes.
So first off, yes, I am a "stay at home mom". No I do not eat bon bons all day. I am not an under achiever, and I am not a depressed psycho. Personally, I think my day is just as busy as any "working mom". I don't get paid for my job, and I rarely get coffee breaks. Violet's one hour nap is my break, and often times it is spent doing laundry or odd jobs around the house. One thing That I am jealous about "working moms" is their social life. I am often around my mom but she is far from an adult conversation. Sorry mom, those that know her understand. My days are filled with goo goo ga ga, ha, and waaaaaa. Oh, what I would do for a conversation that didn't end in poop, throw up, druel, or a tantrum. Now I would not change my situation at all. When I had my daughter I decided that I wanted to raise my daughter, I wanted to teach her as much as her noggin could contain, and I wanted to see all her “firsts”. I love the bonding that I have acquired with my daughter. And yes even though the stinky toxic diapers are endless I love that too.
SO, I have been doing some research ( you see stay at home moms can even do research) about the subject and have asked a couple of my friends what are some of there most despised conceptions about the whole mama drama. So first the "working mom" side.
It seems that a common link between "working moms" Is that stay at home moms are judgmental of them (me judgmental...NEVER). That there is a sense of "you aren't even watching your kids, why did you decide to have them in the first place" My good friend duck (and no she is not an imaginary duck that quacks to me in my "stay at home mom head") wrote me, she said.
"I hate that people think that working moms like my self are neglectful as parents that were too wrapped up in our work lives to care for or look after our own lil ones. I don't take for granted the help that I have, but sometimes I wish I was a stay at home mommy. with the way this world works I don't think I'll ever be able to stay at home with the kiddo."
Well, if I know my Duck, and I do. She is an awesome mom and doesn't take for granted any minute she has to spend with her little boy. Economically it just isn't possible for some families.
My aunt wrote also. Her kids are all old and grown and well....They are my cousins so I will be nice. LOL wink wink. But they better stay on my good side, i can always change this thing.
"All I would ever hear was, "Well, If it was my kid"..... blah blah blah.... So many said that if I would have been a stay at home mom, he would be different... I do not believe that... I honestly do not believe that I could have done anything different.... We went down every avenue that we could and yet, he still did his own thing... Some people and kids are just that way.... You should never assume the parenting skills of someone by the kid alone.... I have 2 wonderful kids and I would die for them.... I have given them all of me and and forever will.... One just took Little longer to figure things out....LOL.... "
Well said Auntie Squeaky! Every one is different, and as long as you tried to your full extent as a parent then you did your job as a parent. Even if you are weird too lol.
As for me I think stay at home moms feel they need credit to. That they are just as busy as any working mom and contribute just as much to society as any one else. we are creative, teachers, nurses, and butt wipers. I may have not chosen a path that takes me to a nine to fiver but my path is just as valuable as any briefcase totting phone answering mom. I just carry a diaper bag around like a purse and answer fake cell phones only to hear baby babbling about how she threw a whole roll of TP in the toilet. A life out side of home some times seems not possible. Some one I know once said "I feel like I'm in a prison". Then I realize There are no bars on the doors, no chief wiggum telling me what to do. I make things how I want to make them. If I tell my self that scrapping smashed cheese out of the tile grout for the 5th time today is fun. Then it is fun DAMN IT! lol now I am making stay at home moms sound crazy.
So mommas lets make a vow.
"I as a mother promise not to judge other mothers on their work choices." I mean seriously "can't we all just get along?" We are all just as crazy as the next mom and we all have one thing in common. GET THE BABY IN BED SO I CAN CHECK MY EMAIL. I'm just kidding....or am I? We all love our children the best we can. A child can look at a working mom and say "wow if momma could be a working mom and take care of me maybe I can be superman/ superwoman" And if my daughter looks at me one day and says "Wow if mom can handle me all day then maybe I can be Joan of Arc, and be as crazy as she is". You get the picture.
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