Christmas joy

Here comes 2011. I know you are tired off hearing "oh my gosh, I cant believe how fast this year has gone by" and bla bla bla. But dang it. IT,S TRUE!!

So enough of that. Christmas has come and gone, and I have stored it into my memory vault of a brain. Violet has gotten quite a collection of toys, that I now find my self stumbling on every day. She is very proficient in the art of destroying any clean room, and a master at booby trapping the floor with pointy little things. OUCH! Damn those farm animal rolly thingys. Among her many favorites, [and I am not over exaggerating when I say many] she seems to enjoy her rocking horse, a stew pot, and a zombie doll. What can I say Santa has very odd tastes.
If her toys suggest anything about her future roll in life it would say she is destined to fight the zombie Apocalypse, on a horse and i don't know ... feed the homeless. wow my daughter...heroin of the new world, animal lover, restorer of humanity. yeah its destiny.
okay back on track. So my favorite thing about Christmas this year was Santa greeting my from his long night at work. Mind you this was a very tattooed, very pierced, very tall Santa [If you haven't guessed I'M talking about my man Jason]. He was very adamant about leaving his daughters presents out for him to place under the plastic Christmas tree [we got class lol]. Violet must have heard sleigh bells ringing [but I think the sleigh was bumping some cradle of filth (band)] because she woke up. Being as I`m the nicest sweetest mother I let her stay up and help daddy play Santa's little helper. She watched as daddy forced over frosted Christmas cookies that were polluted with twizzlers, coconut, sour things, and Reese's pieces for eyes. She helped place bright boxes under the tree, and gave a few of her toys a test ride.
After we downed a rather large glass of brandy that we flavored with egg nog we crawled into bed. I lovingly asked Jason ″are you drunk?” to which he replied

"no".

I said, "Well, I am" with a grin.

"Okay yeah, I guess I am too". Lol what a man has to have his wife say she got tipsy before he will admit it.

No we are ready to take on New years, though violet is going to have to indulge in sparkling cider rather than champagne. We already had one aunt passed out on christmas. The last thing we need is a baby stumbling around drunk saying "Where am I? What planet are we on?" :0)

one year update

Okay, here it comes! The big one year birthday!!!

I have been planning her big day for.... forever. And now that it is here I don't want it :0( Now don't get me wrong, I am super excited for the present opening, and the guests , and the Jack skelington (you know how we do) cake. I'm ready for the excitement of her seeing all her new toys, just to realize she is more interested in the bows and colorful wrapping paper. But it is also a reminder that my little girl isn't the tiny-inny-baby any more. Now she is a walking, chomping, babbling toddler, who is on a mission to get into every cupboard, and has her heart set out to destroy every room just as I have finished cleaning it.

No more simple items like a plastic spoon to keep her busy. Her life (at least for now) will be filled with playschool lights, and noises, clapping, and dancing. which reminds me, the girl shakes her booty like no tomorrow. She must get that from me.

It is amazing to see how she tries to consume every little thing into her little memory box of a brain. She points at dog poop with her little finger, and is amazed by it. "Ick" She knows that too. She knows "hot" though it comes out "Ha". Noses make a beep sound and lips make a kiss sound. That is my favorite thing she has learned to do. Not quite mastered, as you will receive an open mouth drool slobber kiss, but it is cuter than a baby purple unicorn fart. Which I am assuming is cute. I love how she clings to daddy when he goes to work, waves good by and blows kisses to him as he leaves. I know she wants him at home as much as I do.

I hope that Violet enjoyed her first year of life, as much as I enjoyed it. I'm pretty sure she did, considering that most of it involved all attention being on her. I sense more Independence showing from her personality even more than when she was a newbie and we would try to put her in a walker, or a jumper. She would scream as if saying "I DON'T LIKE CONFINING SPACES!" Now she is running to Gee-Gees house when she gets mad. I hope she isn't planning her escape from me all ready. Well, honestly she can plan but, nope, it ain't going to happen. LOL.

So yeah, that's it for know. Wish me luck on this next year with my head strong little Violet Rayne. I'm sure I'm going to need it!

and

HAPPY BIRTHDAY VIOLET!!!

Family is

Family is dysfunction

a group of people that feel they have a right to go insane together.

Family is burps, farts, and fat jokes at the dinner table

Family is laughing until one of your aunts pee's herself

Family is telling your sibling how horrible their food is but really scarfing it down because it taste so good.

Family is finding your cousin drunk and naked sleep walking in your living room. covering your eyes and sweetly helping her to her clothes and to the restroom.

Family is one up-ing every story

Family is droping the turkey

Family is fighting never reconciling but being civil around the bomb fire.

Family is picking on grandma

Family is saying I love you by flipping some one off

Family is stealing all the blankets.

Family is rehab and recovery

Family is forgivness

Family is a late night phone call just to say whats up

Family is fighting about religion and politics but agreeing that the roads need to be fixed

Family is confussion

Family is stinking up the bathroom and then laughing at the disguisted grimace on the persons face as they walk through green fumes

family is stealing the baby

Family is forgetting to water the plants when some one is one vacation

Family is sitting in the middle of the desert crying together

these are all the things family means to me. Good, bad, happy, sad, funny, fights, and long sleepless nights :o)

violet movie 1 0001

9 Months and it's Halloween BOOOOO

Sorry guys, life has been busy and blog world has had to wait. Self proclaimed super mom has flown in for a visit. I hope you all have been good. or not so good. Sometimes that is more fun. I'm taking a break from the introduction of our family, to give you guys an update on Violets always changing world.

I think the last time I told you about Violets teething, she had two teeth and I described it as baby torture for the both of us. Well, that hasn't changed. We have managed to survive four more teeth. Through many nights of crying, chompped up nipples, and teeth marks on every thing, we DID IT! When I look at her smile I think, "where did my gummy girl go? She has turned into BABY JAWS!" Du Na Du Na NAAAAAa!!! (I think that is how the Jaws theme song goes). Those teeth seem to take up her whole mouth. It is so hard to imagine how she can squeeze the words maaaa, da da, pa pa, and ba ba between those chompers. But she babbles like a pro.

Our little girl has begun walking. I know we look goofy every time she stands up and we count every footstep. One, Two, Three and so on. She has accomplished twelve steps. and I think I have had at least twelve heart attacks, thinking she is going to fall and clonck her head. Babies have a suprising ability to fall just so. Unlike their older peers, who seem to trip over carpets and crash land on tile floors, destroying their toes that are in much need of a mani in the first place, running after the phone SOBER! You know who I'm talking about MOM.

Can you believe it guys? WALKING? I know we hear it every day, "they just grow up so fast." It really only feels like a few months ago, that I was worried I would never get pregnant. Now I feel like school, swing sets, eating bugs, and the dreaded boyfriend, is right around the corner. Scratch that last one. I won't even entertain the thought! delete delete delete.

When we first brought Violet home from the hospital, I remeber looking down on her and thinking "I hope she has her fathers personality" Calm, cool, quite, patient, all the words that describe something oppisite of me. Well, so much for wishing. Not that I would change anything about my little girl, she is still an angel to me. But now she is more like an angel that has eaten gun powder and is locked and loaded and ready for control. She holds her breath when she is mad and makes a long grunting noise (similar to pooping) and turns bright red. I guess that is an inherited trait from me. Lol but now I don't know if she is releasing sewege or if she is just pissed. Instead of stomping through the house when she is mad she crawls while stomping her hands on the floor. Great I have a mini teenager already.

We do have a milestone coming up and I think it is one Jason and I have been looking forward to since I found out I was pregnant. HALLOWEEN! Halloween is our favorite holiday even more than christmas. ghouls and witches, and black cats slinking down dark roads is some thing all kids can enjoy. Even the big ones. Some of our family members are excited to. But I think we have differant taste. Plans of fairies, and lady bugs, and princess started floating around. How do you tell your sister and mother in laws "Sorry we want your neice and grandbaby to be a zombie, chucky, or even a roadkill skunk". call us sick or morbid, but you give a child to horor buffs and you are bound to have a living dead baby on halloween. All though, I'm pretty sure Violet can make any scary costume look cute. Regretfully, the halloween costume corporation does not supply parents with scary oooweeey gooey slimy bloody gross costumes for babies . So we setteled on a little devil costume, which seems appropriate for her personality. As for me, I of course had to go with a zombie look. I figure if the zombie apocolypse is going to happen I might as well have a costume to blend in with the living dead. so BAM killed to scary birds with one gernade. Jason is going to be the grim reaper, and is really scary. Violet handels the costumes well (I have one brave little girl) as for the other kids in the pumpkin patch....well I hope their parents stay close cause I'm pretty sure some might get the spooks. pictures will be posted of the joyus occasion.

Shout out to my friends Renne & Ben, and Clay & Ruby. Who are expecting a little bundle of joy. That bundle also happens to include smelly poop, slimy drool, and lots of love. Enjoy you guys I know you are going to be great parents.

super mexican

This one goes out to Paul, the best Step-dad in the world. King snake killer, and a man of many traits. Super gardner, though he confuses cucumber seeds with watermellon seeds. A fanatic for burritos, and refried beans give him strength (of the buttttttt!). Super power-baby talk. A master at understand and conversing with babies.

Paul is one hard working mexicana. He works for Union Pacific Railroad, and when he is not on the train he is working for the WFWA (Wage free work association). If you have nothing to do but know that something should be done you can call paul and enjoy watching him hussle and bussle around your yard. You need a tower built and all you have is a yucca stick, a warped peice of wood, one nail, and a peice a wire, Paul can build it.

We just celebrated his 3 year sober birthday from alcohol. Though, you would never guess it as he has perfected the dance of "almost falling down". Please if you see him, move all baby walkers, chairs, and fill all holes with solid dirt. Stop him if he is pretending to ride an invisable motorcylce as he just may trip over his own feet.

The man is a fence building maniac. When the zombie apocolypse comes (I hope rabbits don't turn into zombies), I will be glad to have him not zombie-fied becaues I know he is capable of building a fortress in a matter of minutes. He express himself through the art of fencing and you can come experience a taste of the chain link paradise and walk through the labrynth of fencing around my moms house. However my dog tootsie is now testing his limits as he opens gates, and soars over them. he he he.

When it comes to Violet he has the most patience in the world. He is always teaching her new things, ONE TWO THREE STAND! He is always on the look out for new little teeth, and bribes her with ice. I think violet has gained her love of cookies from him, and grandpa always has them on hand. Violet is his sleeping buddie, and when she falls asleep on his protruding belly he won't move for over 2 hours because he refuses to disturb her slumber. No matter how much he has to do he will sit with her, it is the only time he rests.

Paul is an awsome step-dad and a great grandpa. Even when he exspells toxic fumes. Thank god for air spray.

He Talks to aliens

So in this addition of my blog you will meet my dad, tullio. Super power- confussion, and talking to things that are not there.

My dad is an odd person to say the least. A lover of antiques and Harley Davidson Motercycles. He can go through a junk pile and will find an oil spout and will swear up and down that some day it will be worth millions of dollars. At least he has a hobby.

When I was younger he was convinced that hellicopter lights where really UFOs and the little green guys where telling him what bars to go to. A few times I caught him talking to the sky in a very intricate conversation with the aliens. I never minded though, I just understood that I had "one of those fathers." I am glad that he has accepted in recent years that technology is not of the devil, and that a cordless phone is not going to suck out your brain cells. I keep thinking however, that they are some day going to link brain cancer to phone usage and he would have been right all along.

Yes I know what you are saying. "That man was on drugs" well you wouldn't be wrong. I am happy to say that he has been sober for many many many years, and that is where my pride is for my father. It was tough for some years, I'm not going to lie, but I am believer of "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" and "every thing happens for a reason" . You should always leave that line of communication open because people change, and can become great things in their time. With out the experiences my father went through i don't think he would be the man he is today.

A strong, loving, kind, strange man, that loves his family.

I wish he lived closer, and some times I stay up at night thinking how much I want him here. I love watching him with Violet. I love how he will hold her so close and "put put put pufff" she will fart and he sets her gently down on the ground and calls for me "I THINK SHE POOPED!" he is terrified of dirty diapers.

When he is around, Violet is not allowed to cry and if she even sniffles he places her in the stroller and will walk her around the neighborhood until she falls asleep. Well, I think she just falls asleep because once he got lost and couldn't find his way back home so he walked around in circles for ever. One day when she was teething he took her in the stroller about five times, just so she wouldn't cry.

I Love how he tries to stay young by listening to snoop dogg, and will feel the rage at a metal show. Thank god he realizes that he is to old to be in a mosh pitt, but you can see him holding back. I like how every week he lays on the floor puts his reading glasses on and places his bills around him so he can see them all and works them out.

Every morning when I wake up I know the first thing I will see on my cell is a text message from him saying "Good Morning daughter". I giggle when he calls me at eleven o'clock at night when I'm crawling into bed, with nothing to say but "whats up, I'm bored" yup thats, my dad.

An Awsome dude, and a great father.

"The Mother of the Land"

In these next blogs I plan on describing some of my family members. Well, the ones worth mentioning. I feel It is necessary for you to understand what violet will be having to endure as she grows up. Let's just say she will have a eccentric life with these alienesk people. So without further ado (I think that is how you say it) Please meet the cast of this seasons newest show.
"This Family is Wild"

If I could describe my Mother in one word it would be, "humorous".

"The Mother of the land", August Garcia. Watch as she gets blamed for mundane things, as she handles her title of first born. But look, she still manages to walk with a pep in her step. Actually it is a limp from a herniated disk, but folks, she makes it look good. Hard working Gardner, bra-less, woman wonder, can talk her way out of any situation and insult you with out you even knowing it. She is A Mother and grandmother that wears her patch proudly that identifies her as "The Weird One". Super power- absorbs the sun into her skin, and can camouflage herself into any tomato bush.

I used to get upset when people would tell me how much I was like my mother. I wouldn't say that I have acquired my worst traits from her, but....well it is all how you look at it. I think she gave us our family motto, "We are rich guys. RICH IN LOVE!!!" arg when you are 13 and really want a portable cd player. But I look at the values she instilled in me and I can't wait to pass those onto Violet.

Like "Hate, is a bad word" "Laugh when people don't like you, it makes them like you less", "Some where, somebody has it worse" and my all time favorite "the world is your bathroom, so pop a squat"

she can dance (well tries to) through the worst of situations, and will always find something to cook. Was not afraid to let us kids swim in duck poop filled ponds. And always made sure the Easter bunny forgot to boil some of the eggs, so we could chuck em' at each other.

She let me know that I came from the mailman, Aaron came from what the chicken left behind, and and Alex came from the milkman. So proud to call us her children. actually we are all full blooded brother and sisters, from the same mother and father. Just a joke we all got going between the three of us.

When we first moved to New Mexico, my brothers and I couldn't figure out why there wasn't any trees and why every thing was brown. She told us the story of how E.T was flying around and had to go poop really really bad. So he stopped of in chaparral, took a dump, and it smelled so bad every thing died. I think that is still my favorite story she every told us. How sweet right?

She has only given me encouragement as I have become the mother that I am. And never lets me feel like I am doing a bad job. Even when I put the diaper on wrong over and over again, creating large blow outs. She has taught me that collecting baby teeth is not gross, and squirting your little brother with breast milk was actually a funny joke and he just took it wrong.

Violet adores her, and so do I. And I am so lucky that she is violets grandmother. I know that she will always make her laugh, always teach her that life is beautiful, and that fairies are real.

She truly is my best friend.

Well, the Fonseca family is moving back home to Chaparral. The neighbor hood we are living in has been overruled by tweakers, neighbors that play their music to loud, and drug dealers. In other words not an ideal place to be raising a little girl. When we first moved here it was a perfect starter for Jason and I, nice and clean, but it has been three years since then and all I have to say is YUCK!

As I am packing all of our little skeleton trinkets, our Bob Marley bobble head, and roll up Violet's "Nightmare Before Christmas" door poster, I think of the years that have passed. I think of how much our lives have changed, in these few short years. We went from party animals and evolved (or devolved) into mature, clean, hardworking, tired, adults.

I love where I am right now in life. I don't regret anything from my past, even the danger to my health and well being past. It was all an experience. But I wouldn't go back to that place ever. Drugs and druggies are no longer a part of my life. Partys are not what I wake up for, and leaving the dishes in the sink are not acceptable! We both live for our daughter now, and it is a beautiful life. Even the dirty diapers.

So you are probably thinking "where is the comedy?" here it comes.
PACKING SUCKS!!!! all I have to say is I better get my $300 deposit back, because I am busting my balls on this place. They should just give families with babies back their deposit when moving. Because believe me it isn't easy to be packing with the little one all over the place.

Here I am on my hands and knees scrubbing around the toilet with violet giggling and practicing standing holding on to my sweats, while pulling down my pants. Woops sorry world my butt is hanging out, but the child STANDS! And then you are stuck like that, butt hanging out for the world to see because you have already packed the curtains, but you can't move to fast so you don't knock down baby.

Next you have three open boxes with stuff all stacked pretty and neat inside them. Turn the corner for 2 minutes, only to come back and find that Violet doesn't like the way you have packed, and takes it upon herself the take every thing out just so you can do it again. Fun. I remember my mother telling us as kids "if you don't wash the dishes right you are going to have to do ALL of them over again." (always just a threat never followed through) Violet must have gotten that from her.

When you are on a roll you are on a roll. hard to get on a roll with breakfast, bath,snack, lunch, bath, snack, dinner, bath, and between all that play, and lots of diapers.

Violets boxes tower over Jason and mine. The girl has a wardrobe that would make any Holly Wood starlet drool. When did our toys become insignificant compared to her toys?

very slowly it is getting done. And after all the cleaning, the tripping, the crying over her infant clothes, I sit down on my couch exhausted and see that it is all coming together. Then I stroke my leg and realize I haven't shaved in a week and a half, and think "damn I packed my razors!" oh well, I am probably to tired to shave them anyway.

FLIPPING GREY!!

Quick some one run me to Walgreen's! It is urgent, I am in dire need of some major first aid. There has been an accident! Age and time have had a massive collision with my follicles!

"Chantel massage my head," I say to my sister-in-law. Little did I know that five minutes later I would be fighting back tears as she and my mother are heckling like hyenas that have smoke one to many joints. "IT'S GREY!!!" they giggle.

I kept saying "Yeah right, you guys are stupid. Stop making jokes." Then here comes that shiny reflective thing, that I, as most tired worn out mothers avoid as much as possible... A mirror. (who wants to be reminded every morning that the same ol' sweats are out of style, and you just don't have time to pluck those eye brows anymore). And there they where. Shiny patches of snow white hair glistening in the sun against the dark black back drop of my hair.

suddenly (and I'm not joking) visions of 401k, sun spots, wrinkles, hip replacements, retirement homes, and the dreaded forty year mammogram check up are running through my mind. Will my baby making parts even work anymore when I decide to get pregnant again. NO! I can't even say it. You ladies know what I'm talking about. ssshhhh, we will just call it the "M" word.

Go ahead, I don't care if you think I'm over exaggerating. So what if I throw my hands up in the air and stomp and yell. To my older readers who have already gone grey, there is nothing you can say to make it better. To my peers, and younger readers , and those who have not yet been cursed with these little grey strands. Leave me alone and let me pout in my ageing cave of oldness.

I'm only twenty four, but here I am getting flipping grey. My little brother, Aaron, said it best. "You are to old to hang out with us now." The saying is "you get grey hair because of your children". Can this really be true? I refuse to blame this on my sweet violet. No I blame global warming. The melting polar caps are making me grey at a young age. Well, it sounded good in my head.

"I will show you world!! *getting on knees with hands in the sky* I curse you father time!!! Only a man could do this to some one. I'm not washed up, or sold out! I will prove to you gods of aging, wrinkles, and sunspots. I will be the hippest, coolest, grey haired mommy in the world! That I will never be to achy to dance, that prunes will not yet be an every day necessity, and that I will battle this curse with hair dye and I will WIN!" aahhh....I feel better. Must not stress need a foot up on the battle field of grey v.s. young mommy.

now time for some hair quotes....

"Grey hair is a blessing-ask any balding man" Author unknown

"By common consent, grey hairs are a crown of glory; the only object of respect, that can never excite envy." George Bancroft

"How can I control my life if I can't control my hair?" Author unknown

"A hair in the head is worth two in the brush" Oliver Herford

Going by so fast

"Da Daaa na NAA, here she is folks, Super mom!"

Okay I know, I know, it has been a while. No worries, I'm back. With a lot of new updates about my baby girl and the milestones that she has hit at eight months. We have gotten off the thirty five mph slow scenic street of "Napeat poopnap", and gotten onto the super fast highway of "NO VIOLET!"

So first little Violet Rayne sits up on her own . I took it well with a big smile on my face. Then WAM! she is pulling her self up to stand on the same day. Come on girl give me a couple of days before milestones.

two weeks later we are sitting on my grandma's carpet when we here "SHE IS CRAWLING!" No way. It was slow at first, but man she really wanted the cell phone that we were used as bait. yeah, technology. It didn't take her long but now she is roaming all over the place with all the determination in the world to get where ever she wants. And let me tell you . you can vacuum and mop as many times as you want but it is never clean enough. that girl can find anything to stick in her mouth. It isn't rare to find a dust bunny sticking to her chin with babies super glue drool. Violet is every where and unstoppable.

Two days later grandpa Paul is sticking his fingers in her mouth. "uh oh," he says, "No...your kidding me, no way!" we say. And sure enough two little white teeth are poking out of her bottom jaw. Through pouting lips I say "They weren't there yesterday :0(" I think they are vampire teeth. She thinks it is really funny to hear mommy scream out in pain as she clenches down on my nipple. You think the first three weeks of breast feeding are painful....just wait buddy.

I am so proud of my little girl, It is going by so fast. Time went by so slow before children, and now I don't even hear tick tick tick, it is all ZOOOM . The super fast six lane highway isn't all that bad though. There are some great sites to see. Lots of smiles, and giggles, even the tantrums are cute. we have gone a long way from sleepy little baby and a lot farther to go. I am so excited!
here are some more milestones that violet has accomplished.
first black eye
eating solid food
falling off the bed
pooping on grandmas carpet
pooping on mommies carpet
chasing dogs
fart noises with tongue (very repetitive)
rasberries on every ones bellies
working EVERY ONE in the house to carry her(she is really good at this one)

well that's all folks, until next time. And remember the mommy life is the best life.

Motivation

Okay so I'm back. I know, I know, it has been a couple of days. but chill out people I got more.

So, time has been flying by lately. Days seem to be going by faster and faster, road runner style. When you are young time goes by so slow. Tic Tock Tic Tock, used to pound in my ears, as I would lay on the couch and wait till ten at night because that's when the party would start. Now all I here is ZOOOOOOOMMMMMM!

Violet is going to be seven months on the twenty second and I keep thinking only five more months and she will be a year old. boo hoo. She sits up, rolls, eats baby food, and now she eats those little star rice things that dissolve in her mouth. she gets up on her hands and knees and rocks back and forth, the prelude to crawling. Oh man.

As much as I miss her as a tiny little newborn that would fall asleep on my chest, I am still so proud of my little girls accomplishments. I miss how she would nap every two hours, but am still so happy that she is awake longer, gives us more time to play. I love it how she is realizing what a stranger is and pushes her face into my neck when she sees some one new. She likes to play monkey and push her self backwards until I am holding her upside down. She even plays in the pool with the big kids (her crazy older cousins)!

she has been thousands of feet in the air to go to San Antonio, eight miles under the earth at Carlsbad Caverns, and we even took her to the mother ship at Roswell NM. Whats next? the bright lights of Vegas.

My mother in law came out this month, and it has been such a beautiful thing. It is amazing how having a baby can make you so emotional. In the past, crying for me, was like an eclipse. It would only come once in a while, and when it did every one would shut up and watch. We got pictures taken of my MIL and Violet. It was such a precious moment I choked up. Now all I want is more time. More time for Violet to have with her Grandparents, and Great Grandparents.

Shit, here comes the emotions. Quick change the subject.....

So I have officially hit the gym. Well more like bulldozed through it considering how big I am. Boom.... "Look out Godzilla is doing the salsa again." I have joined a Zumba class. For those who don't know what it is, Jason explains it like this. "Jungle fever dance, with a hit of hot sauce." I may be a white girl but I can shake my butt, and jiggle every thing else. "J-E-L-L-O, it's alive!"
If you want to see something funny, hit us up at the prime time and watch me and my sister in law trying to keep up with our little flaca (skinny) instructor who makes it look so easy. By the time we are done my breast milk has turned into an all out milk shake and Violet gets a nice frothy treat for dinner.

I need the excersize, not only to be healthy for my little girl, but mostly to keep up with her. I know if she is anything like her uncle paul (as every one keeps saying), she is going to be hell on wheels. A full Pedal to the Metal kind of girl.

I am old enough to not care what people think about me or my weight anymore, In fact, I am infatuated with pudgy people because I know what real beauty is. But I am being brave and going to let you all know the numbers. Go ahead say what you want, but in the end I can probably kick your ass, and could make some money on all the people that would take a bet that I would.

So before I got pregnant I weighed 260
lost thirty pounds while I was pregnant 230
and have pretty much stayed that weight since.
I am 5 ft 9 inch
and you have to figure (I'm hoping) at least 20 lbs of boobs considering I'm stacked with triple D's. That's right boys, you can pick your jaws up off of the floor. You look like a zombie.

Now don't get me wrong. I love my body. I am not ashamed of my body, and if you saw the way my man looked at me every day, you would know why I feel beautiful. I spent to much time in my past hiding in the shadows, and wearing huge shirts to care anymore (and that was when i was 180). I love to show off the ladies. I just love to dance so why not do it and loose some flub while I do.

So in this war here are the "evil doers"
Bread BREAD BREAD!!! Rice, and anything that has Chocolate on the label, also slim fast because that stuff taste like SHIT!

Friends: My work out buddy Chantel, Dance instructors hot ass, Man do I want an ass like hers. Zumba and protein. Violet cuz she never lets me sit down. Garden, and ZUMBA! four sports bras stacked on top of the girls, and more zumba.

So all right every one. I'm out for today. Keep me motivated, and Smile YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! and here are some pictures of what real woman look like

There are things in life you want, and there are things in life you need. When you have a child the words "I want" no longer exist in your vocabulary, and the word "need", goes to your baby. Then there are the things you don't need. It doesn't hurt to wish or dream, but in reality, your little one is so much more important than anything money can buy.

Things you don't need to be a good mother.

a hair cut that makes you feel like a star.
the trendiest clothes to wear while doing the laundry.
a manicure, it makes it difficult for baby to use fingers as a pacifier.
A night out on the town even just once a week.
the most expensive toys for baby, because even the expensive ones break.
A big mansion
the newest technology

Things you do need to be a good mother

Patience
wooden spoons for baby to bang on pots
a pony tail and or head bands
sweat pants
energy
fast feet
a camera
mud
and most important
LOVE

On day three of the evil baby drama, known as TEETHING. I have heard stories and lectures about how tough it is when your little ones teeth start their journey to the out side. But I got to say one thing, you are truly never really prepared.
Poor Violet has been miserable for the past three days, I think we both have. I know the Crying is horrible for me, but I know the pain is 100 times worse for her. Sleep is something that is missing in both of our lives, right now. And I miss my happy little girl. I hope this goes by fast.
Upper about the teething, is knowing that only mommy can make it better. I love the love!
I am armed with baby Tylonal, Oragel, and Humphreys teething tabs, frozen teethers, and a never ending supply of chee chee.
Any one have any advice on making this experience more bearable?

Happy Birthday my Love

Today we celebrate the birthday of two very special special people on this planet. My hubby and my Mother in law. SOOooo...

Jason is celebrating his 25 birthday, and I think Na Na Marty is celebrating her 32nd birthday for tenth time. I love both of them very much. Although I don't much matter anymore since the baby has come along lol.

I met Jason seven years ago, and we are high school sweet hearts. I don't know much about the sweet part though. Over the years he has taught me patience is one of the best qualities a person could have......I don't have much of it, so I figure it is best if I just stick with some one who does. He has always been a "every thing will be okay" kind of guy, even when the shit hits the fan. And I don't just mean little tiny poops, I mean Giant elephant shit, kind of shit.
He is truly a Sweety, and he always makes me laugh. I know I am getting all mushy and yuck but I really really REALLY love him, and I can't see myself being with any one else.



His mom, Marty, is just as cool as he is. If anything she has taught me how to be strong, and that every cloud has a silver lining. She really is the strongest person I have ever met. When I think things are bad I tell myself "WWMD" (what would marty do), and I know I can pull through anything. I LOVE MY MOTHER IN LAW.


These two people have really been a blessing in my life. Jason is a good father, and Marty is a good na na, both of which I think are spoiling my daughter into a little princess.

I hope you too have a wonderful birthday. I love you guys beyond the universe!

So in love with the wong thing

Four things I have learned from violet

Being a mother is like being a freshman in high school. You think you know every thing, and then WAM! Brain overload! The scientific method of Who, What, Where, When , and Why, just turns into "Wa?". So here are some things that I have learned, since I have become a mother. I hope you enjoy

1) My new alarm clock doesn't have snooze - The days have long gone, of sleeping until I could dream no more dreams, and I would wake up. Even after being awaken I could swish my legs back and forth under cool blankets and scrunch my eyes closed until I would get bored of pretending to be asleep. Sleep...Sleep...Sleep, God, it sounds nice and peaceful, doesn't it?

"we are sorry to interrupt this beautiful scene but WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!"

That's right My alarm clock no longer goes beep beep, it no longer plays the latest rock song, Now it is a high pitched scream, that does not end until I am not only awake, but out of bed, peering over the baby crib through blurry sleep deprived eyes, and reaching my arms down to pick up my early riser, Violet.

Little violet doesn't have a snooze button, but she has a really cute "Good morning Mommy", smile. way better than any alarm clock, and cute enough to make you forget that you are tired.

2)dancing around like an idiot is no longer stupid it is cool at least for the babe- Look out every one I have just passed "can act like dork but is pretty cool" line on the Dork-O-Meter, and have gone into the red zone of "break out the black glasses with tape and do the sprinkler" line.

I always strived to be the "cool kid" growing up. To be the kid in school that was "like totally awsome", with the best clothes, and well, you know that air of... coolness. later on I became okay with just being "privlaged" enough to hang out with the cool kids, and settled comfortably into the crowds cool nerd role. BTW it doesn't count if your mom says "your cool to me" infact, if that happens the dorky fairy will sprinkle a little more dork dust on you, and make it worse.

So now I am dancing around like a maniac, arms waving in the air, feet stomping, jumping as high as my milk filled ta ta's will let me. I know it sounds sexy right? WRONG!! maybe after you have kids, your body just forgets how to do the sexy shake your booty dance. Nope, now it literally looks like I am having a seizure! But hey, at least for right now, violet thinks it is super duper cool. (saying super duper just put me in the "exploding dork" zone on the meter).
well, until i show up at her first school dance as a chaperonage, and do the "I'm making kool-aid" dance.

3) baby farts are always cute -I know, every one likes a good fart joke. But we all know that some times it just is inappropriate. I know every one has been in a situation where some one has done a little poofer, and you are just totally disgusted. I know you are going to laugh but here are some examples
a. When you are relaxing on the couch and your little brother is standing next to you and lets one rip right next to your head.
b. A buttercup to the face
c. while eating dinner your husband lets one go just as you are enjoying a big steak, and you can almost see the green gas oozing from his dent in the couch.
d. when you are spooning your husband and he lets one go on your belly that is so big it jiggles your stomach so hard a surfer could score a trophy on the waves.

ha ha ha ha.....yeah it is SOOOOOooooOOOOO funny. NOT!!!!!
*getting out my lab coat, and pushing up my glasses* You see baby farts are a new breed of fart. They are always cute, and you can actually be proud of your little ones toots. Not only do they come out of such a cute little bottom, they seem to surprise your little one in such a silly way, that you can't help but smile. Yes indeed baby farts are always cute.

4) that i need to invent nipple pads for girls with big boobies- So this one is for all those ladies that where stacked before they got pregnant and then just turned into the boob monster from hell after they have had a baby. Two words....Nipple Pads.
for those that don't know what nipple pads are, they are tiny little peices of what ever they are made out of, with a little sticky in the back. You place the tiny little things between your nipple and your bra, hoping that the sticky does it's job and stays in place. If you are breastfeeding they are supposed to absorb milk, thus preventing leakage all down your pretty shirt.
Ha if only. I have learned, since I have had the baby, I need to mass produce giant nipple pads for girls with real honking boobies. I mean like, tig ol' bitties
sorry guys if I am being a bit blunt. Just to warn you if you are not used to vulgar words you may want to leave this blog for the less modest person. This is only the beginning.
Now, don't misinterpret me. you may be thinking, "dang this girl has some freakishly large nipples", No I don't, but I don't think the nipple pads that are placed on retail store shelves have a one size fits all kind of thing going on. I'm just saying.
And don't get me started about the sticky on the back, that is supposed to hold it in place...To late. THEY SUCK. Listen, when you go to sleep and your bed is soaked in milk and you are trying to figure out where the heck your nipple pad went. You search and search and can't find it until you get up in the morning to take a shower and PLOP, out falls the nipple pad, that was lost underneath your chee chee, or some how it ends up in your armpit. I think maybe it is time for the nipple pad industry to start revaluating their products. Sheeeesh!

Yeah pretty funny, right? I know there is more learning that will be going on in the years to come. And I can't wait! Please feel free to leave some comments about what you have learned, it should be interesting.
Thanks for stopping by agian.

Whats Going on here?

SoooOOOOooo, since this is my first blog, I guess I should let you know whats going on here. Right?

I have been on this earth for 24 years, longer if you believe in reincarnation (BTW I would have been Joan of Arc in a past life). My mother named me Rebecca Marie, and she later changed it to Rebekah Clean Your Room. I can get into a mosh pitt, shake ma booty, and argue with the best of them. Heck I am the best of them. Now I just sound vain.

Not married, I'm a "Down with the man", kind of girl. So naturally I don't see why I should have to get a marriage certificate from the court, to recognize my marriage. However, I do refer to my "life partner" as my husband, and we have been together for seven years.

So that brings me to my Daughter, and the reason for this blog. Violet Rayne (pronounced Rain, and not ray-na) was born the rainy day of December 22. So as I am writing this first blog, she is officially 6 months and 9 days. My first child has thrown me into this crazy wild job, that gives you the title of Mommy. And a hard job it is. Many ups and downs, and turn arounds, zig zags, and some times even a u-turn. But all well worth it.

I am writing this blog to let it out "Mommy Style". Hopefully to find mothers out there as crazy as I am... but wait you have to be crazy to have kids. I might want to vent, gush, get some feed back, or just blog weird stuff, so just hang in there with me. And if you can't there is always the little x on the page that gets you out of here, and if you have a good computer, quickly.

So yeah, Thanks for visiting, hope too see you soon. It should be fun.